I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
