went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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