tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
