so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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