wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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