broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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