Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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