So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
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How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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