Three words: puerto rican gang bang
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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