More tranny stories later!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
