I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
