nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
