I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
third nipple confirmed
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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