The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
