I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
