Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
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