did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
