yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I cockslap morals
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
