UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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