Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.

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  (410): She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard. http://tfl.nu/ezls
  Replies (9) Good night (609) Bad night (2874)
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  (213): View more from California

  she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies

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  (213): she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies http://tfl.nu/m8ne
  Replies (33) Good night (2604) Bad night (4895)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  yea

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  turns out that you did...and i just found it.

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  (856): You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel? (856): yea (1-856): turns out that you did...and i just found it. http://tfl.nu/lurm
  Replies (57) Good night (794) Bad night (8377)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty

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  (856): Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty http://tfl.nu/h187
  Replies (14) Good night (865) Bad night (3261)
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  (925): View more from California

  I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows

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  (925): I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows http://tfl.nu/02lq
  Replies (9) Good night (4024) Bad night (823)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1

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  (517): The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1 http://tfl.nu/3zzc
  Replies (11) Good night (3444) Bad night (920)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night

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  (330): So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night http://tfl.nu/sszo
  Replies (4) Good night (1437) Bad night (2803)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.

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  (403): his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly. http://tfl.nu/boxe
  Replies (7) Good night (4144) Bad night (874)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.

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  (480): From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him. http://tfl.nu/9mdh
  Replies (23) Good night (6036) Bad night (1301)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.

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  (207): Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america. http://tfl.nu/yc3t
  Replies (7) Good night (2998) Bad night (850)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...

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  (614): not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin... http://tfl.nu/5fas
  Replies (29) Good night (3059) Bad night (879)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.

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  (573): So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs. http://tfl.nu/477y
  Replies (12) Good night (2630) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.

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  (734): Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life. http://tfl.nu/cgob
  Replies (3) Good night (1574) Bad night (420)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink

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  (705): how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink http://tfl.nu/hb4c
  Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (372)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.

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  (224): I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch. http://tfl.nu/5a72
  Replies (6) Good night (231) Bad night (485)

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