I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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