Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
