The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize