Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
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Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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