Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
