That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize