just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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