I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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