bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
