Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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