he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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