Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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