it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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