Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
