i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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