We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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