Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
