Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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