It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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