would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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