Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
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i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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