if you like me you must not know who I am
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
