WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
