everyone is single if you try hard enough
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's never too late to be topless.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize