I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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