I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Is it penis luge time yet?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
