please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
