So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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