i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
