He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize