HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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