weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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