Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
