Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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