hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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