Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
