Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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