to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
