My hand turned me down
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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