I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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