Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
