I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
